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(fake a smile for me)

[08 Aug 2005|08:43pm]
See ya Livejournal.

(fake a smile for me)

[03 Aug 2005|10:08pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I am following the crowd once againCollapse )

(fake a smile for me)

I sip epiphany [22 Jul 2005|08:38pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Man, new Finch CD= WAY good. I'm a big fan. Thanks to good ol' Chuck.
(I always refer to him in the third person as "good ol' Chuck" and I just realized that's kinda weird.)

So I'm home from going to my brother's Master's graduation at Notre Dame in Indiana and visiting my sister in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My brother's fuckin' awesome, man. He (Steven) just received his Master's in Education and will soon be teaching 6th grade English in Colombia. My sister (Alexis)has the cutest house in the middle of the woods and her daughters are real freakin' cute. It was nice being not in San Diego. (Screw grammar)

I hate USD already. I have so much motherfucking paper work to do like everyday and the only 3 they count for AP tests would have been for Statistics and i did NOT get a fucking three on that test.

I've turned into Holden Caufield, I swear. I think I speak more like he does everyday. =D

The Real You is playing on August 13th. Wahoo.

I like friends. I like a boy. I like summer. Wahoo again.

(1 fake a smile for me)

[12 Jul 2005|03:20pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I am following the crowd, after Chelsea=)Collapse )

(3 fake a smile for me)

[07 Feb 2005|05:48pm]
Go see Dance Production.
The seniors have gone through WAY too much to have this thing not be seen.
Thank youuuu.

(Thursday and Friday February 9th and 10th at 7)

(fake a smile for me)

[31 Jan 2005|07:44pm]

Please click on the link given above to send food and support to the Tsunami crisis. Click once everyday to consistently provide for those so much less fortunate than all of us. Thank you so much.

(2 fake a smile for me)

[ mood | angry ]

Sooooo building on the crap that our school has become, we've been informed that AP Government and Politics will only be offered during 3rd and 4th periods. Thaaaat's dumb for all of us who will be entering our senior year in any of the 3 dance ensembles. IM: babybida, cheeseamacaroni, or amanduhbananuh to get info on how to get that shit changed!

Thanks for your support and concern to try to make SCPA not such shit. =)

(3 fake a smile for me)

[27 Aug 2004|12:45am]
You can't fire me. I know your password.


P.S.- The top links are fucked up. I'll fix it in the morn.

(8 fake a smile for me)

[17 Jul 2004|10:23pm]
Just because I haven't done one of these surveys beforeCollapse )

(3 fake a smile for me)

[12 Jul 2004|03:34pm]
Bridget can't ever use her livejournal cause her firewall blocked the page. Whatta weirdo, huh?? But this is Chelsea, updating for her. Bridget's having a lovely summer. She only saw me once, so it's not that great, but no complaints. Bridget also would have sex with Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, or Carmen Electra. Who wouldn't??

see!Collapse )

(2 fake a smile for me)

[17 Feb 2004|04:45pm]
Go See Senior Dance Production February 19th and 20th (This Thursday and Friday)!

(9 fake a smile for me)

[08 Feb 2004|08:58pm]

(5 fake a smile for me)

Failing Life is just easier [04 Jan 2004|11:42am]
[ mood | weird ]

Let me start off by saying that Kat's house was way fun. Kiddo you have so many gidgets and gadgets that are really fun, and the grrrrrreat pictures of me with my 6th grade hair and kim in mid-talking moments are just fweaking gweat.Once again, I apologize to you and Casey for intruding rudely and I hope you know that I had the most positive and pure intentions that just got entangled in everyone's negative emotions. I love you both and I hope I didn't fuck anything up too badly. Well since Kathryn's house was just so comfortable and my dream of being in a volcano I didn't want to go but around 10am, my mother arrived. This is where some complication starts but Charlie and I stay so positive about everything because we're way fweakin happy to see each other.

It started with every boyfriends' nightmare... Shopping with his girlfriend.
He was a real good sport about it even though I didn't really buy anything besides a sweater and more of my Strawberries and Champagne junks. Well after the lady he dealt with at the food court was a bitch, it kinda started to go downhill. We had to pick up my brother from my grandparents' house and my brother's been a dickwad to everyone, and I knew he was making Charlie inadequate and uncomfortable. Meow, dumb situation. Charlie's way more than I could've ever asked for and I hate how anyone in my family could make him feel otherwise because they don't know just how much I care about him. If I could pave the ground in gold on every step Charlie would make in his life, just so he could step on precious metal, I would. There's very little, if anything at all, I wouldn't do for him.

(9 fake a smile for me)

Happy New Year [01 Jan 2004|04:46pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

My new year's eve celebration was really enjoyable but my new year's day on the other hand is sucking some serious butt. Yeah, the serious kind of butt.. the most dangerous kind out there. Yesterday I woke up excitedly and meowly at 7 and got ready to spend the day at Charlie's. I got there at like 9 something and his mom just becomes more and more adorable to me every time we get to hang out. We had a crap load of movies that we never got to watch because either they were crappy, or we found something better to do. Anyways, we made our favorite lunch together (grilled cheese sandwiches) and hung out and we were really tired at like 3:30 so we went to lay down. We were so warm and comfortable we couldn't get up but we had to make sure we didn't fall asleep in fear his parents got home and saw us asleep and snuggling. Too bad we fell asleep. Meow, his mom called and woke us up and we got up and read some of the maddox site until his brother and mother came home. We hung around listening to music until we went to his grandparents' house. Yay, I don't think they completely hate me. I still want to know why they have 50000000 channels on their living room tv. Dinner was really nice and Charlie even switched it around so I got the cute cup with the Kitty on it saying "Meow" ! How perfect is he? Yeah, fun and rhetorical. So I'm not that great at Hummm..ble because I don't know a bagillion songs they have on the cards. Charlie and I cheated though aka didn't cheat. Kat will like this.. The song charlie had to hum was Deck The Hall for just our team. All he said was "ohhhhh" in correct key and I got it! Hah! But we wound up losing because his mom happens to know every song ever. Meow haha. We had to go in the back room and try to watch Johnny Mnemonic which we turned off at 20 minutes because it was just, awful. We left before midnight to go back to Charlie's where we were so tired the countdown was somewhat anticlimactic, but I still got to kiss him.. I enjoyed that.

Today's been lazy and filled with video games and anger running through my house. Meow. Happy New Year and may the world this year have prosperity, health, safety, and joy brought to children and everyone else who needs it. I know it's cheesy, but I couldn't be more sincere.

(11 fake a smile for me)

Hello, I've waited here for you [30 Dec 2003|07:25pm]
[ mood | relieved ]

I'm playing the Really Thankful For My Charlie game. I had one of those arguments (most teenage girls should be familiar with) with my mother about me doing things, growing up, college, my siblings, everything. Who knows if anything was accomplished, but at least I'm not experiencing her wratch any longer. Meow.

I really miss Choral and dance right now. I haven't been able to sing in a while from being sick and I wish that I can just sing again. Dance is gonna kick my ass when we get back to schoool. Most of all I miss Chelsea staring at my boobs in the locker room.

(2 fake a smile for me)

Sometimes, I'm angry. [30 Dec 2003|02:06pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

In my house, very little harmony. Sometimes.. well most of the time, I sure as hell don't click with anybody. It really sucks too that they're aware of it and pester, yell, annoy, and get angry at me also. I really don't want to be at home right now so luckily I have three days out of my house to look forward to.

Tomorrow (New Year's Eve) I get to spend the day at Charlie's and then to his grandma's for the nighttime fun. This will be the first year I've ever kissed anyone on New Year's.

Thursday's gonna be a whole lotta Dama and a whole lotta Mathryn. Big fun time sleepover at Kat's house where we're gonna play models. By the way, I think we should play board games... an strip poker ;).

Nik, looks like as long as you still aren't busy Friday, that shopping at Plaza Bonita is a go. Meow. I'll be looking forward to screwing around once we run out of money haha.

Looks like I've won first place in the Writing Dumb Entries Race.

(8 fake a smile for me)

Everytime I See Him, I Fall Deeper [28 Dec 2003|08:36pm]
[ mood | Everything Good =) ]

=) I can't even type right now I'm so crazy for him. Last night was really cool. Charlie and I got to talking after we hadn't much the entire day, and he made me feel so much better with what I was thinking about and I got to make him feel better about some of his sadness too. We have a tendency to recooperate quickly through the help of the other. During the summer we talked on the phone a lot and by the very end of July, we'd talk for about 8 hours and watch the sunrise with each other on the phone. The unfolding of a new day and seductive closure of sunset entrances us equally, so we like to enjoying viewing both together as often as we can. Meow. Well it had been a draining night and at about 3:30am we decided to get an hour and a half of sleep, have me call him at 5:00am so we could watch sunrise. Little did we know how tired we really were. I set my alarm and woke up but turned it off thinking it was a school morning. I wound up not calling him and he didn't call me and neither of us woke up until ten. It was still very meow.

The start of my day was pretty shaky on the other hand. Charlie was going to come over because we really wanted to see each other. He called around 11 saying he wouldn't be able to use a car and hoped that I'd be able to go to his house. With everything else, my parents (mother especially) makes everything into a battle sequence/soap opera. Tragic. She made everything so difficult when I offered an inconvenient solution and with her raging and ranting I just said fuck it. Once they left, it was just Buddy (my brother Patrick) and I. A little before one Charlie tells me he's on his way up and wants to get me lunch.. I know, how fweakin perfect. =) The day only got better. Once he got here we ate, snuggled on the couched, watched tv, got distracted [meeeeow ;)], and talked. Then.. dun dun dun, my parents got home. We took a walk around my neighborhood and I got kinda sad for a little bit about a stupid insecurity that I have and we didn't talk too much on that walk. When we got back to my house we sat on the curb and talked about us together and how much we actually mean to one another. My heart absolutely melted when we stared at each other for about a minute, and he got a little teary eyed. Of course I had to shed a few tears even though I had no idea what was going on. He told me that he just couldn't believe he was really going out with me, how alive he is when we're together, and that I was pretty. =) And then as I was wiping my last tear, I took view of a single shining star in the sky just as twilight was settling. He said my name, I looked at him, and the longest sweetest sequence of our lips gradually getting closer led to the most enthralling and captivating kiss I've ever felt. I was listless from his thieving of my heart. It was freezing outside and whenever it's cold, he balls up my fist into my sweatshirt and he breathes warm and slowly on it. I swear I'm going to have a heart condition from all the beats it has skipped. I have no idea how long we were out there but it was cut short nonetheless by my mom saying dinner was done. I'm glad he ate a lot, I got fatten up his skinny butt (but that's how chelsea and I like 'em.. that, and we enjoy being called fat compared to our boyfriends). After dinner we went into my brother's room and went on the computer. We're just really mushy and can't keep our hands off each other. Meow. Now here is the website that Charlie, my brothers, and I laughed at for about two hours. http://maddox.xmission.com/ Good Stuff. So at about 8:30, I sadly walked Charlie out into the cold and had to bid my farewells. But don't you worry all you hopeless romantics, there's still more mush =). I get cold really easily and my teeth chatter a lot. For some reason Charlie thinks it's cute and kept laughing because every time he tried to kiss me, my bottom lip was vibrating. Also, he knows that when I'm cold, I like to wrap my arms around his ribcage so as soon as we got outside, he unzipped his jacket so I could hug him. Meow. We looked at this blinking star for a while and I asked him if we could just look at the stars together one night and he graciously accepted the invitation. We whined how we never wanted the night to end and devised plans so that we could see each other again as soon as possible. He hugged me so close and so tight and just looked at me again. I could die in his eyes. So we finally kissed goodnight and I asked him to call me when he got home so that I would know that he got home safe, and I proposed that we could talk all nght again tonight. Meow =).

I hope all of you who didn't care to know any of this feel stupid for wasting your time. haha, jk.

GoodNight and FareWell

(5 fake a smile for me)

I want it to rain again [27 Dec 2003|05:08pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

the rain really calms me down. i never get scared of storms, thunder, lightning (well sometimes), hail, and the rain. i remember when we were on chicago tour i would stare outside while everyone else would fall asleep. i was also one of the few to think that the weather was true and gorgeous. i was so inspired i actually wrote one of my favorite poems on the bus. hah, that i had charlie, daniel, and kathryn critique. it just makes a lot of sense. comment on it if you will:

Your fingers preyed against the wet window
and I wish that I could feel your pain.
Too bad I've gathered your true intentions,
It's made me dumb-founded that you're so vain.
The sky screams in mercy, from the ungrateful us,
and I'll walk in pure ignorance
until abhorrence begins to rush.
But you'll still sit in that spot
looking naive, ambitious, and innocent;
I'll continue to wish that i were you
living in continual contentment.

It's pretty farfetched, but those of you abstract thinkers could possibly enjoy it.

Last night with nik, dan, and charlie was really fun. daniel's so adorable with how he acts around her =). and between all of us smacking each other, daniel throwing my shoe, "watching" those children next to us, making fun of the entire movie with nik, and of course cuddling charlie made the evening quite the enjoyable kind. After the movie we went to Island's to get some food quickly and soon have nik's dad pick us up. The reason for such of a hurry? My Mother. Everytime i go out, and i mean EVERYTIME, she has to make up some excuse as to why she can get mad at me. I just want to know how to be a better child for her. In a nutshell, she expects me to fail in life, even if she is the one to make me do so.

Today's been uneventful but not bad. Well, not horrible. I've done a lot of thinking because that's just what i do. I'm pretty abnormal (if you believe in that sort of thing) when it comes to the amount of how much i think. Literally, i just sit in my room and think. Logic, Philosophy, Theology, Matter, Love, Death, Hate, you name it, i think about it. And lately somethings just won't leave my head, and i think about it until it hurts to think anymore. i wish i could stop sometimes, but it happens for a reason i guess. everything happens for a reason. yeah i'm one of those believers. meow, whatcha gonna do?

(4 fake a smile for me)

(Twiddling my fingers in front of me excitedly) [26 Dec 2003|03:33pm]
[ mood | excited ]

So i'm pretty fweakin happy for a lot of my friends right now..

Nik, for reasons that we're getting to hang out and that she danced around in her hello kitty underwear for me.. and for other reasons because you thought about it! like you sat there and you thought about it AFTER it happened.. i mean usually you would just tell me, but the reason you told me is because you actually thought about it! like you pondered, "meow" haha. and i pretty fweakin excited about going to the movies tonight, double date action if you will. mwaha

And then there's a bubby that i'm excited for, mathryn and i got all excited with her during footloose.. oh meow, how fweakin exciting.

and other people, meow.

Today i got to walk to 7-11 with nik. One of the most enjoyable and memorable past times that exist in my life, and hers as well. =) I didn't do the little angry kid stomping thing but i did get to do the excited little running in place thing. (so what if i act like i'm 10) and how about i play the wearing nikki's clothes game? okay! i win! and then tonight we get to see peter pan with charlie and daniel. and i'm really happy about that cause we're fun people, especially when we're together.

I just realized that i won the Writing a Pointless Entry Game

(2 fake a smile for me)

[26 Dec 2003|12:17pm]
-<3 bwidget

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